Playing In The Dirt

I know that it has been a long time since I have blogged. I have been so busy for someone that can't walk and is unemployed. Really on a serious note I want to share with everyone that has been praying for me that God is still working in my life on a daily basis and I am progressing. I have to use my wheelchair still for long distances and for days that I am really tired. I can use a rollater which is a walker that has four wheels with a seat. I still have to drag my left leg some because the nerves are not done growing back yet but I have made progress and that is all that I pray for is that I continue to get better day by day!

Throughout this whole experience I have had ups and downs. I have gotten better and worse and stayed the same. I have gone through extreme pain and continue too. Some days it's worse than others. At times I find myself asking God "WHY?" That age old question that everyone would love to know the answer to about something in there life that they are struggling with. The other day though I was outside and I was helping my mom plant flowers. We had gone to Lowe's and bought a bunch of different flowers and plants and then gone to her house and we started planting. As I looked at the garden I saw some of the things that had already been planted from before. Some of them were dying and others were now going to be out of place and not fit into the design that I had in my head so I suggested that we pull up the dying plants and chuck them.. Next we planted some of the new things. Well then we needed to dig up some of the old in order to fit the new design and this continued until essentially we had dug up all the old plants, to fit in the new design.

As I think back on that experience and how much more work it was to take out the dying plants, and the old plants, to fit in the new plants, I think about our relationship with God. I believe that he has been doing the same to me. He had to take out the dying areas in my life first, take what my old ways were and change them into his new design for my life. He is the one that has the blueprint to my life. Not me. It is so hard for us to realize that and give up that control to him.. I know that is a struggle in my life. Fear is what drives us away from giving up that control. So for now I will put one foot in front of the other and instead of looking down I will look forward and remember the time I played in the dirt with my mom and instead of asking "WHY" I will say "Please".