All Things Truly are Possible

Do you remember people telling you Never say Never. Well I didn't believe that saying until tonight. Pastor Jeff has been challenging us to tell our story and it is crazy because I would have to say that there are people in my life that know more about me right now that aren't related to me. Tonight my dad came over and we were going to work on some things for his business and as we were working we started to talk. As we were talking things started to come out that I wanted to tell him for so long... I started to tell him my story. He cried and asked for forgiveness and said that he was sorry... All reactions that I wasn't expecting... I am truly blown away at the fact that God loves me enough to know that I needed that. That my heart has been broken for so long and it is mending slowly by all these things that he is allowing me to experience through Him. The saying All Things are Possible is true. He is building me into what he wants me to be part by part and teaching me how to forgive and let go along the way.... Life is so much more Beautiful with God!

I'm In the Passenger Seat

God has been completely blowing my mind away with how awesome and mighty he has been over the past couple of weeks. I never knew what I was truly missing in my life and now that I know I am just sorry that I wasted so much time in my life without him in it. I am so happy to say that since I have finally accepted my purpose in my life I am walking with a cane. Being in a wheelchair wasn't God's cruel way of punishing me like I thought it was his only way of getting my attention because I was running form him in more that one way. I will pursue going into ministry with a focus into missions. This past week God has really tested me in all facets of my life. One particular area are my finances and I found that by following through on something that God wanted me to do he provided the very next day when I needed him. It is amazing. I am finding myself speechless. I am also finding too that the devil is working overtime. So I have finally crawled from the backseat of the car to the passenger seat and decided to sit alongside Jesus and let him drive and talk with him the whole way through this thing called Life because there is NO way that I can make it through without HIM!!!

New Spark Plugs Were Installed

I think that God has a sense of humor. He has to. So as I have been blogging my life has been changing lately for the good, but not without a cost in other areas of my life. I have always said growing up that I would never go into ministry whatsoever because my dad was a pastor and well putting it nicely I have issues with him. He is a great man and was a great pastor, but fell short on the whole dad thing. So that being said this whole thing of me being shoved by God into the direction of ministry is "wow", but yet I am excited. So I was having a conversation with God and basically I was trying to feel him out.... I wanted to know what it was that I was supposed to be doing to start this whole thing... I wanted to just go into the church sit down with a pastor tell them my story let them know my passion and go from there... God told me "NO" I needed to go and volunteer and do whatever it was that they needed done for a little while. I had to start at the bottom. Ok fine. So I did just that. Wouldn't you know that thing that I really don't care to do the most is what the asked me to do... Trifolds... I used to have to fold trifold bulletins EVERY week for my dad, and I HATED IT! You know what though it wasn't that bad. Then when I was done with that I was given other things to do... I remember one night on my drive home I told God you know I could be doing so much more for them because I am smart and creative. I got Smacked in the face by God he said " You know what I could be doing so much more for you because I know everything if you would just move over and let me take complete control." WOW.... talk about being humbled... I get it. I am exactly were I am supposed to be. So for now I will fold, type, label, copy, clean toilets, do whatever it is with a joyful heart knowing that this is the time that God is stripping me of everything so that I can grow the way that I was meant to all along. I have never felt so excited and so passionate to help people and for them to know Jesus then I do now and it feels AWESOME.

The New Engine

So today I was coloring with my niece Anastasha who is 4 and she was in she was in a hurry to finish her picture before me. I was taking my time and outlining and making everything perfect and she had completed 4 pages before I had even done one. As we were coloring I asked her why she didn't want to color a particular page and she told me "because Aunt Shelly it will take too much time and I just want to hurry up and do as many pages as I can." Later on as I started to think about this I realized that we are all in this huge race and we just want to see how much we can do. We don't worry about the quality of our life, our relationships with people and most importantly our relationship with God. I have been forced to slow down in life and am realizing more and more that even in the moments that I have I can waste so much time doing absolutely nothing. People that have known me for any amount of time have never seen me as a "Godly Person". I would venture to say that if you would ask them they would say that I am a good person that would help others out, and that I go the extra mile. That just doesn't sit well with me anymore. I want people to know God. I want them to experience him! I want them to feel the Holy Spirit like never before. I want them to know that even in the good times it is good to have a relationship with God. I just want people to see Jesus in me and find him. Life is too hard to go through without him. He remade my engine and made me new and everyday is perfecting me into the person that he wants me to be. And I will continue to sing It is Well With My Soul. So whatever you are going through in your life know that God can bring you through it and you are not alone.

Giving It Some Gas

So I have been doing some major soul searching over the last months. Life has been rough of the past year. I don't believe in New Years resolutions because I think that you should try to constantly be making yourself a better person. This year was no different. I have missed the last couple Sundays of church because I have been sick, but I have been talking with my husband because more and more I believe that God is putting up HUGE obstacles for what I want and for what HE wants for me. It seems that every time I want to go to pursue the dreams that I always had of becoming a Doctor I get seriously ill. He has been laying on my heart that my sole purpose in life is to share my story.... When I had told my husband this one Sunday after he got home from church his eyes got huge. He told me that he couldn't"t believe that I was telling him this because that was what the whole sermon was on.... I think that alot of things that have happened to me in my life like me in this wheelchair right now was God's way of slowing me down. I was going a thousand miles an hour and had no time for Him. I was going to constantly put what I wanted in front of what God wanted. The scary part of all this is that I don't know what all this looks like. I don't know how to begin. So for now I will wait for God to continue to work in me and I will walk again soon one day! I believe that ! I will give God the glory when it happens. I want to help people and hopefully show them the beauty in life and in God . I want to make a difference in the world. I believe that is my purpose.