Monday, March 30, 2009

Stand In The Rain

I don't know how many people have actually heard an amazing song by SuperChick called Stand In The Rain. Here are the words.

She never slows down.She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming downShe won't turn aroundThe shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down
[CHORUS]So stand in the rain Stand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing down You stand through the pain You won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found You stand in the rain She won't make a sound Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall downShe wants to be found The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.
[CHORUS]So stand in the rainStand your groundStand up when it's all crashing downYou stand through the pain You won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found You stand in the rain So stand in the rain Stand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing down Stand through the painYou won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found
[CHORUS]So stand in the rainStand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing downYou stand through the painYou won't drownAnd one day, whats lost can be foundYou stand in the rain.

This has been my anthem for the past 2 years... Even before I decided to give my life back to Christ. So my life for the past 16 days has been filled with excruciating pain, 9 of those days in the hospital in which I continue to be at this present time. I have felt pain in my life physically for a long time now because of different medical cocnditions but this time it reached a whole new level.... I thought to myself are you serious. Ok God I did what you wanted me to do! I gave my life to you, I am going to go into the missions and I am trying to lead a life soley devoted to you and this is what happens! That was the initial reaction. I have to tell you that as the days go on and on and the Dr's come in and out of your room and they tell you things like it could be cancer. We need to run more tests, we need another MRI, CT whatever the case is you learn to hold on to threads of hope and faith. You learn to take one moment, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I have alot of questions but not alot of answers. That seems to be the same with my relationship with God. The few things that I do know though is that he loves me, that he will never leave me, and that as long as I have faith as small as a mustard seed in Him it will grow day by day into something beautiful as long as I water it.... I have to remain strong and keep pushing through becuase that is the only thing that is going to get me through this thing and that is what I do. Don't get me wrong it is hard and it hurts because I was getting to the point were I was walking with my cane pretty good and I was making great progress in physical therapy, and then now I am lying here in a bed and my left leg is soo weak again and now my right leg that I had no problems with before is going out on me. There is almost no spot on my body that you can touch that doesn't hurt. I cry and wonder why do things have to be so hard, and I beg and plead with God to not make me end up in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. For now I just have to have faith that in the next second, minute, hour, and day, that God loves me and he is there for me and put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward and never entertain the idea of sitting down and giving up! Always Stand even if it is in the Rain!!!